I thought I was being sweet. I reached out for a light, well-meaning pat on my niece’s pregnant belly—next thing I know, I’m getting the look. You know the one. The “we don’t do that anymore” stare that makes you suddenly question every baby shower you’ve ever attended. Turns out, pregnancy etiquette has had a serious glow-up, and if you’re not keeping up, you might accidentally step on a landmine made of kombucha, boundary setting, and prenatal yoga.
So I did a little digging (and a little apologizing) and found out that there are a whole lot of things that used to be normal—but are now very much not it. From food faux pas to social media sins, here are 11 things that are off-limits when someone you love is expecting. Whether you’re the friend, the partner, the sibling, or just the excited human in the group chat, consider this your unofficial guide to not being that person.
1. The Belly Is Not Public Property
Yes, it’s adorable. Yes, it’s miraculous. But unless the baby bump has personally invited you over, hands off. Touching a pregnant belly without permission is now on par with reaching into someone’s purse—technically possible, but wildly inappropriate. According to Cosmopolitan, many women find unsolicited belly touching to be intrusive and even anxiety-inducing, especially with increasing awareness around bodily autonomy during pregnancy.
It might feel harmless or even affectionate, but the belly is still someone’s body, not a community petting zoo. The rise in awareness around personal boundaries has made pregnant people far more vocal (and rightfully so) about asserting space. If she wants you to feel the baby kick, she’ll let you know. Until then, keep your hands to yourself and maybe compliment her from a safe, respectful distance. “You look radiant” still slaps.
2. Stop Asking “Was It Planned?”
Oof, this one’s spicy. Asking someone if their pregnancy was planned is the nosy cousin of “When are you having kids?”—a question that’s also been banished to the rude pile. Per Romper, questions about family planning tend to come loaded with assumptions about readiness, finances, and whether the pregnancy was a “happy accident” or a spreadsheet event. Spoiler: neither answer is your business.
Even if you’re dying to know the origin story, save it for the podcast that’ll never happen. Parents today are more open—but also more protective—about the emotional and personal aspects of starting a family. If the news was shared with joy, match the vibe. Smile, say congratulations, and keep your detective work to yourself. Curiosity is not consent.
3. Comparing Her Body to a Fruit Bowl = No
“She’s about the size of a cantaloupe now!” might sound like a cute update from an app, but using food metaphors to describe a pregnant person’s body? Ick. Quartz pointed out that these comparisons, while medically standardized, can feel reductive and infantilizing when repeated in everyday conversation. Your niece isn’t a snack—she’s a whole human growing another human.
These comments may seem innocent, but they subtly draw attention to body size, shape, and growth in a way that can be uncomfortable (or even triggering). Pregnancy already comes with a slew of changes—stretch marks, swelling, and a sudden inability to sneeze without peeing—so maybe don’t add produce to the mix. If you must gush, stick to neutral praise like “You’re doing amazing” or “That glow is real.”
4. The Word “Hormonal” Is Basically a Slur Now
So she cried over a yogurt commercial. That doesn’t mean you get to diagnose her with “being hormonal.” According to Women’s Health, while hormone fluctuations during pregnancy are real, dismissing someone’s emotions as “just hormones” is a quick way to get iced out emotionally (and maybe literally). It minimizes her experience and tells her she’s not in control of her feelings—which is the exact opposite of helpful.
Think of it this way: if someone told you your opinion didn’t count because of your biology, you’d probably throw a drink in their face. Instead of trying to explain away a reaction, try validating it. “That sounds like a lot” goes so much further than “You’re being hormonal.” Support doesn’t always need an analysis—just empathy.
5. Don’t Assume She’s Giving Up Her Career
Asking when she’ll stop working—or worse, if she wants to keep working—is practically a boomer sport. But in 2025, it’s also incredibly outdated. Per Forbes, more women are choosing to stay in the workforce during and after pregnancy, and they’re not here for the side-eye or outdated assumptions. A baby doesn’t hit pause on ambition.
Not every pregnant person is gearing up for full-time motherhood in suburbia. Some are negotiating deals, leading teams, or launching businesses with a baby bump and a latte in hand. So don’t treat the pregnancy as a professional expiration date. Ask how she’s feeling, not when she’s clocking out forever. Support her choices, whatever they are, and let’s all agree to retire the phrase “having it all.”
6. No More Belly Size Predictions
“She looks ready to pop!” might have flown in the ‘90s, but now? It’s a surefire way to get uninvited from the baby sprinkle. Telling a pregnant person they’re “huge” or “tiny” or “carrying wide” is basically body commentary with a baby filter—and it’s not cute. Everyone carries differently, and none of it correlates to intelligence, success, or worth.
Instead of channeling your inner fortune teller (“It’s definitely a boy, I can tell by how low you’re carrying!”), try something a bit more 2025. Like, “How are you feeling?” or “Anything I can do for you?” The less we treat her body like a public science exhibit, the more supported she’ll feel. And honestly, that’s the only vibe we should be going for.
7. No Surprise Food Gifts
Back in the day, showing up with a tuna sandwich or a surprise mimosa was a gesture of love. Now, it might be a minefield. Pregnant folks are navigating a complex web of dietary dos and don’ts—some medical, some personal, and all serious. From caffeine to deli meats to that unpasteurized French cheese you thought was fancy, the risk is real.
Unless you’re 100% sure of her cravings and restrictions, don’t show up playing Iron Chef. Instead, ask what she wants or send a gift card with a cheeky note. Food can still be love—but let her call the shots. And maybe leave the charcuterie board at home this time. Even well-meaning snacks can turn into a “do I eat this or Google it first” moment. Respect the cravings, but respect the boundaries more. And remember: no one wants a side of anxiety with their sandwich.
8. Instagram Is Not the Announcement Department
Think twice before reposting that cute bump selfie or ultrasound pic. Even if it was sent in a group chat, that doesn’t mean it’s ready for the ‘Gram. Pregnancy news, gender reveals, and bump updates are now carefully curated, highly personal announcements. Sharing without permission is a major boundary cross.
It’s tempting to scream it from the digital rooftops—especially when you’re excited—but this is her journey, not your content. Instead, save the repost for after she’s shared it herself. Or better yet, tell her in person how happy you are and offer to take a pic she controls. Bonus: no one accidentally leaks the name “Juniper Skye” too early. Social media moments are now strategic soft launches—treat them accordingly. Even Grandma has embargo instructions these days. When in doubt, don’t post—just praise.
9 Birth Plan = Sacred Scroll
We used to think labor meant: rush to hospital, scream, breathe, baby. But now? There are birth plans. And they are serious. Whether she’s planning a home birth, a water birth, a hypno-birth, or something else entirely, her plan is hers to create—not yours to critique.
Comments like “Just get the drugs!” or “My epidural was amazing!” can come off as dismissive of her autonomy. Even well-meaning stories can feel like pressure. Unless she asks for your birth war tales, zip it. Support her choices, no matter how crunchy or clinical they sound to you. She’s the one doing the work. Think of her birth plan like a wedding playlist—if you’re not the DJ, don’t touch the settings. Your job is vibes and snacks, not unsolicited advice. If she wants input, she’ll ask—and probably send a Google Form.
10. Baby Name Opinions? Keep Them
You think “Maple” sounds like pancake syrup. She thinks it’s poetic and earthy. Here’s the rule: if you’re not the one pushing the baby out, you don’t get a vote. Criticizing a name before the baby’s born is basically asking to be benched from the birth text thread.
People have very personal reasons for choosing names—maybe it’s cultural, maybe it’s a tribute, maybe they just like it. Your “helpful suggestions” might come off more like judgment. If she shares the name with you early, treat it like a secret and a gift. And if it’s a surprise? Practice your poker face now. You’ll need it. Side-eyeing a name is the new passive-aggressive casserole dish. Be cool or be quiet—those are the only two options. And remember: weird names are just future CEO branding.
11. No More “Enjoy Your Sleep While You Can”
This one’s got to go. Telling a pregnant woman to “enjoy sleeping while she still can” is the least helpful kind of fear-mongering. It’s the baby version of “marriage is a prison”—a warning disguised as a joke, and nobody’s laughing.
She already knows parenthood is going to be intense. Let her enjoy this stage without shadowing it with future fatigue. Instead of piling on the doom, ask how she’s sleeping now or if she needs anything to help. And if you must make a joke, make it about how you’ll be the one losing sleep from excitement. Because that’s the kind of hype she’ll remember. Besides, she’s already up five times a night to pee—no need to rub it in. Support isn’t about forecasting misery; it’s about making now feel good. So be a soft blanket, not a cold splash of “just wait until…”